Wisdom of MY Words

Random Musings & Book Reviews

Archive for February, 2017

23 February

Directed Attention Fatigue

The lack of basic common courtesy in front facing customer positions is abhorrent. I know I’m a fucking twat and therefore will never be the customer service girl, or the retail clerk. I respect the hell out of people like my daughter that deal with customers day in and day out sucking their emotional well dry. I need my emotional well, if I don’t keep a protective fence with concertina atop around my emotional well I end up in bed for days. Working in technology (IT) did that to me. It sucked the marrow out of my emotions and I could do nothing but languor and consume media or play games such as FarmVille.

My well was at zero. I was empty.

Being whom I am it was important I know whether I was severely depressed or working with fuckers every day, ten hour days, for crap money, so I sold shite on eBay on the week-ends as hobby had completely tuckered me out. The eBay though! Honestly. It was to make booze money is what it was, if we’re being honest. All those hours I could have been swimming or playing tennis with one of the kids, but I didn’t know about cannabis then, and as my readers know, I didn’t know fuck all about cannabis until two years ago. Vicodin was always my pill of choice. Um, sweet poppy oblivion was such a relief from my pain. But those have been in short supply for a number of years, and because the knee pain was excruciating, there was no tennis. Or bike riding. Or running. Or hiking.

The reason I know what is going on with my former best friend, Tim Walker, is because I watched my chronic pain affect my husband so drastically he got fat and hurt his liver. I know I am not responsible for his actions, but when you get married some responsibilities fall to one person. I was the sporty person and therefore pushing us to do sporty things was in my court. My doubles partner was way the hell in the far eastern corner of the court unable to even continue to play the game. He was stressed and I was always in pain and he loved me so much, and he’s so bloody lazy, that he laid about in the evenings with me, zoned out on Castle, or something equally atrocious.

Because I drank to try to sleep, please G-d, could you just let me get six hours tonight? I am so exhausted. But no. I popped pills to try and sleep. I drank and popped pills to try and get the constant pain in my head, or my knee, or my ankle, or my left breast, to stop.

So anyway, as I was Googling around the internet in 2013 I found this article about Directed Attention Fatigue. Basically the expectations of people like Juan Carlo and I are so high and we are ON so much of the time that we are fried. We didn’t pace ourselves and we buckled to do more in less time and it gave me cancer, and continues to plague both my husband and I with stress.

Writing this has made me think of that crazy bitch, Deseria Galloway. Tomorrow I will write that interaction.

23 February

Awful Platinum American Express Experience

Monday I was making appointments for Juan Carlo and I for massages at Spa Sweet. They use a reservation software called Acuity. I made the appointments in my office, where I have a Mac mini that is NOT connected to my phone. I DESPISE, as a writer who is trying to write, being constantly pestered by my Apple products searching for me when I get a call or text. The phone is a phone, and the computer is a computer, and the iPad is a web browser in the kitchen, with ring through on ONLY for my daughter’s phone number.

I book the appointments, four hours later go look for my phone and there are millions of alerts on my screen. Three calls from what looks like that expensive Jail Notification System. Then three calls to the Google phone, literally twenty (20) seconds after three calls to my regular mobile. So someone in the call center pushed a button and the IVR system called me on the 8208 mobile, then, because they are idiots, they pushed a button that called the Google number, and that displays on my phone too.

American Express has the personality of an addict that blows up your phone when they’ve done something dumb and gone to jail.

I have no energy to call Amex, but when I’m sitting in the car because JC is running into the library on President’s Day I check my email. There are two emails from Amex. One asks if I charged $1 to Acorn TV. I clicked No, and it prompted me to answer Yes or No if I charged $1 to Acuity. Yes I clicked. That was the reservation software for Spa Sweet. (Look for their review shortly.)

I called Amex on Tuesday and they didn’t know what I was talking about and refused to connect me to the Fraud Dept. Or the cow on the phone WAS with Fraud and had zero soft skills. I said nothing and just hung up. I paid cash for my massage, so there’d be no outstanding charges.

Yesterday I won an eBay auction for about $80 US and they blocked that charge as Fraud and started blowing up my phone. Again, just as the 877 number was blowing up my phone. Then Amex called agin this morning, both my mobile and the Google phone. None of these messages are a live person, btw, they are the IVR system. A recording, telling me to call Amex.

I spend over fifty grand ($50,000) with American Express every year and cannot get decent service.

Juan keeps saying, “Be the change you want to see.” So I’ve cancelled my American Express and now have to find a new credit card. My card is worthless anyway because the Delta companion tickets can’t be used in First or Business Class anymore, so I won’t be flying Delta now that KLM has way better fares anyway! Or Virgin.

Apparently the customer is never right since American Express moved their call center to India. Poor English skills, unwillingness to do as the customer requests, absolute defiance from a low level worker. I literally asked for a supervisor five different times and some chica name Prajakt?c (I gave up because I couldn’t understand her.) She refused to use commonly recognizable words to indicate her letters.) So She said P, but I thought she said B, therefore kept asking, “B as in Bravo?. She kept saying No, Paaaa. Finally, I said, look what are you saying B as in Bravo? T as in Tango, P as in Papa?”

She ignored me, and kept saying the letters. I asked again if it was Bravo or Papa and she finally WHISPERED Pa—-pa. I feel INSANE. Couldn’t she have said, “Yes, Papa?” Call Center Reps should be trained in NATO phonetics even if they’re in India, ja? Hysterically the link above has a header graphic of a CALL CENTER!

On top of that they stall you for over twenty minutes to try and get you to NOT cancel your card! Unreal! Last month I couldn’t even reach someone that was willing to close my Neiman Marcus account! This is crazy. I’m still the customer.

09 February

Kathy Wolford Davis

Here’s Missy Davis’s gas lighting for the past, um, seven or eight years. Roger encouraged me to join Ancestry, saying that it would be helpful to connect with family, and make sense of their crazy.

As an only child who didn’t meet her father until she was 35, and was raised by a group of old people while my single lesbian mother was off working or traveling or having sex, I thought hell, that’s all I’ve ever wanted was family,let’s do this!

I met Dawn, and she’s great, and Arlene, and then there is the Pryzbylinski’s side, w of, and we’ve only just met, so there are possibilities.

However, the thing that has been eating me alive for almost three years is Jon’s aunt Kathy Davis refusing to tell me how she is related to my family. Her Ancestry chart is FILLED to the brim with people she doesn’t know! Dick Bilda. Packer player, wearing his Super Bowl ring; alwys fighting with Uncle Gerry. Three pack a day Aunt Dorothy, or the insult of insults, calling Nana Davis “Margie.” OMG, that’s too much! Nana would pick up that phone and have a few choice words to say to Cathy Wolford Davis about having the gall to call her Margie.

Marg, Marge or Margaret, but never ever Margie, or Peg.

Since my headaches are getting worse, and all I pray for every day is that I can stay mortal long enough to finish all my writing, and make it to England in April 2017, my only other request is can someone, specifically you Cathy Davis, have some common courtesy and tell me how you and I are related? And if we aren’t, which is what my MILs mantra has been for over a decade, then why do you have MY Wolski relatives on your chart? Are you a Wolski? Are, as Jon said, the Wolski’s related to the Wolford’s and Jon’s been in an incestuous relationship with his cousin, me, for 22 years?

02 February

Meeting the Ottos

Jill is walking toward me with a filled to the brim urine yellow Leine’s Honey Weiss. As her thin frame moved toward me a male-female couple to our right leaned forward toward us and asked what we thought of the late night Houlihan crowd?

I’m parched. A bit of cotton mouth from my medications. Ibprofen. Migraine meds like Maxalt, Compazine suppositories (taken rectally, indeed), Xanax, Ambien, Vicodin. My stomach must be lined with lead because I’m always unaffected, or so I think. I forget about the morning hangovers. I forget the only way I know my husband and I had sex is if my pussy aches. If he was gentle I don’t remember a thing.

It’s become a sick routine.

Often I feel violated. I quit Ambien to remember, but then I literally never sleep. I don’t sleep and then I sleep even less because my productivity suffered for the day, or the whole week. I hoard my Ambien because no one wants to label Ambien as a drug that you should you shouldn’t ever, ever take when consuming alcohol or while conducting life. Sounds crazy, right?

Yet, no, you can’t drive least you get into an accident and don’t remember anything the next day. Read this article in the HuffPost about the disturbing side affects of Ambient. Too many pharmaceuticals. I am able to see that now. It has made me look at the health care field, doctors, and big pharma-promoted ways to alleviate pain, regulate insulin levels, any array of maladies that have plagued man forever, but in this age of everything we ingest being an imitation of real food, drugs, supplements, spices.

Poly-pharmacueticality was a part-time hobby. Chronic pain that didn’t go away with knee surgeries, two different scopes; one on each knee. Migraines. Sleep. Ever present need to turn off the voices in my head. No, I am not schizophrenic. The voices I hear are telling me stories, explaining who they are, or having dialogues with other characters. This rich inner world has been part of my life my all fifty-two years.

Worse yet, I over-supplemented for years, until I started seeing Dr. Merlin Brown.

There were certainly days that Jon raped me. Where he used wile and guile to seduce me. Telling me how much he missed me. I call it rape for these reasons:
1. It was often against my will
2. We were both too drunk to be having sex
3. Always penile penetration, never foreplay

But oh G-d I love him, so I often over-looked his mysoginyst bullshit. But now that he’s early forties I’ve been explaining things and he understands and he’s really trying to be a good man and respect my boundaries. For that I love him ever more now, in 2017. 18 years after marriage. This stuff is hard! Ha.

01 February

Mama Dance

September 30, 2002

To whom it may concern,

I have known Michele Davis and her family since January 2002. Even though, it has been a short period and we have not spent a great deal of time together, I touch base with Michele at least once weekly on the telephone. Michele is a woman who embraces her humanness as she strives to be a better mother, spouse and friend. I see Michele reaching out to improve herself and enrich her family by joining parenting groups and seeking relationships with other parents for support and feedback. An example that comes to mind is when Miriam was being confirmed; Michele contacted my brother, a seminarian to discuss her faith life.

Because I live near Michele and Jon I have had the opportunity to bump into them at various events and local stores, etc. I was impressed that all five of them, as a family went on a Catholic Retreat this summer and that they joined my organic farm cooperative. As parents, Michele and Jon make time for both play and work, i.e. seeing them at an Art Fair, with Zachery on Jon’s shoulders or at a park swimming. And then me calling Michele, and her saying, “Sorry, I can’t talk, I am reading Harry Potter with Miriam.”

I see the pride and love that Michele and Jon have for their children. Michele beams as she talks about them and takes pleasure in their accomplishments. Michele was very proud to have Simon become my “mommy’s helper”, to help with household chores and play with my now 18 month old son, Charlie. Simon has worked for us on several occasions. Even though Simon may be taking care of the task at hand, it is clear that Charlie is his top priority. I gather he learned this value at home.

Simon is a delightful young boy who is patient, smart and helpful. As any normal kid he at times gets bored but has the same sense of humor that Michele has when he is “shown the light.” I see Michele guiding her children in a stern fun way that I often find refreshing. On rare occasion, Simon would agree to help me, then change his mind, and both Michele and Jon guided him with this issue; once they let Simon cancel and the other two times they had him stick to his commitment. It shows that they are both firm yet flexible with their children. Miriam is a refreshing child as well, and always enthusiastic to help with Charlie when Michele and the kids stop by. Simon and Miriam are both polite and thank me and compliment me, for example, when I make them fruit smoothies.

Michele gives her heart, soul and most of her time to her children. Yet she knows her limits and when she needs Mommy time. I recall a few months ago Michele called to ask if it was a good day for Simon to help me as she had a migraine. It turned out to be a win/win/win situation for all three of us.

I have met David once when he came to pick up the kids while I was at Michele and Jon’s. I asked Michele, “Who is that angry man?” and she said, “That is my ex-husband.” I find that encounter interesting. Michele has shed some tears with me about how she felt when David was hurtful to her kids. She does not bad mouth him in front of the kids but I see her being a mama bear trying to protect her own. Michele does a great job as a mother even though it can be a struggle dealing with two parental households, etc. But I think she does that mama dance well.

Kathy Jo Peterson

01 February

Daily Bottle of Wine

October 1, 2002

To whom it may concern,

I have been married to Michele Davis for three years as well as Simon and Miriam’s step-father. During this time I have had numerous interactions with the Respondent. The Respondent does not make eye contact with me but instead looks down at the ground when we talk in person.

The Respondent seems very angry and agitated when I talk with him. He sweats, shakes, and stutters. Respondent has called me creepy and weird to my face, asking me why he has to talk to me, and trying to argue with me in front of our home. Respondent has told my wife that I make him uncomfortable, yet when Michele and I were engaged, after their divorce, I helped the Respondent install a master brake cylinder in his car. He also asked me to hook up the dishwasher in his house that we gave him. I said, “No,” because he treated me badly after I helped him with his car. I’ve been civil and outgoing towards the Respondent and the thanks I get is being called names.

When I speak with the Respondent he often insists that he speak with Michele instead. It is a simple fact that as Petitioner’s spouse I sometimes need to communicate information with the Respondent. In addition, sometimes Michele and David have had a particularly grueling conflict, and I then deal with him because Michele doesn’t want to. Her father has advised her to stay as far away from his as possible because he is volatile.

I have witnessed the Respondent treat everyone poorly and sometimes hostilely. On one occasion Respondent did not come up to my car or say goodbye to the Simon and Miriam because he was too busy tending the lawn. On another occasion Brad, his step-son, picked up the kids and the Respondent did not introduce Brad. When asked about why Brad wasn’t introduced, the Respondent said it is because they are “all scared” of Michele and that “nobody likes her at their house, what do you expect with your attitude?” Clearly, there exists hostility toward us at the Respondent’s house which certainly doesn’t help us to communicate and cooperate. Nor do I understand where this comes from, unless the Respondent and his wife are divulging personal information to Jeanna’s children. Jeanna’s children, as far as I’m concerned should not be allowed to know the conflict that exists between Respondent and Michele.

I try to communicate with David to reduce the level of conflict between him and Michele, because David doesn’t know how to upset me, or as one of our friends said, “He doesn’t know which buttons to push with you, and that’s why he doesn’t like talking to you.” I also do not have a complicated history with the Respondent as Michele does, having been with him from 1989 to 1999. However, the Respondent resists speaking with me and does his best to make this more difficult. He has been on the phone with me, attempting to engage me in a fight, and I just won’t let him. I tell him I won’t argue, and when he continues to do so, I tell him I’m hanging up.

On one occasion Respondent became so angry that he pushed my solar plexus repeatedly with his two fingers, which left a bruise. On another occasion the Respondent refused to speak with me and I had to communicate with his wife. She is pleasant, but has her own agenda and the conversation did not go smoothly, with her continually interrupting me and treating me disrespectfully.

In the Respondent’s Affidavit he makes a claim that he believes the current parenting schedule is “…harmful to the children. In part, this is due to Petitioner’s financial situation as well as physical problems she has experienced.” Currently, I have a stable job at a national company and make a sufficient income to provide for Michele, myself and Zack. I also have consistently provided for Simon and Miriam because the Respondent’s child support was insufficient and not the State mandated minimum. Michele has requested reimbursement for uncovered medical costs and the Respondent has refused to respond to her letter. Yes, indeed Michele’s income has gone down from what it was when we got married, but she has had employment from December 2000 to April 2001, erratic book editing during the summer of 2001, she answered phones at an office while the kids were at Summer School at St. Paul Academy. Then she was unemployed from September to December 2001, worked steadily at a contract and co-authored a book up until May 2002. She started advertising her Web design services and computer expertise and has been working part time all summer, and still is. I don’t see the relevancy of “our” financial situation, does Michele working part time because the economy is slow make her a bad or unfit mother? On the contrary, this gives her more time to play with Simon and Miriam. Just the other afternoon she played Scrabble with both of them. Neither child goes without. We buy organic meat, feed them well, buy them the clothes they want, get their hair professionally cut, and buy things like a computer for Simon and Miriam’s use, a skateboard for Simon and expensive bikes for both kids. Frankly, our whole family does not go without.

As far as I can tell the only difference in the Respondent’s home and ours is: cable television, an X-Box and a trampoline. We live in a nice house, each child has their own room, and we do not have cable television because we believe in limited television access.

In addition, Michele being home for the children every day after school was wonderful when we belonged to Calhoun Beach Club, which closed in March for renovation, every Tuesday and Thursday she took Simon and Miriam swimming in the indoor pool.

After 11 years of nonsmoking, I’ve watched my wife, because of the stress of this Motion for Custody on the Respondent’s part take up smoking. I do not allow Michele to smoke in the house. I understand her need for an outlet since she doesn’t drink much, and exercises just enough to not re-injure her leg. But it is distressing as her ex-husband is vindictive and nasty, to see her smoking after an 11 year hiatus. I also want to add that Simon and Miriam have told us that BOTH the Respondent and his wife smoke cigars quite frequently, and that the Respondent polishes off a bottle of wine every night.

Michele and I have an established network of friends that we often do things with, this always includes the children. We rarely go out alone without the children. We enjoy the children, they are our precious treasures. I, personally, volunteer my computer skills to both Hale and Field, Miriam and Simon’s respective schools, and have volunteered at the Barnes & Noble book fair that Hale/Field sponsor, for two years in a row. I believe that it would literally destroy the children to be uprooted from their primary home, school, Church, friends, biological brother, as well as Michele and I. In addition, I believe that David cannot do fifth or sixth grade Math, or at the very least doesn’t pay attention and adequately check over Simon’s problems. Simon and I have to re-do Math homework after he has been at his father’s because the answers are consistently wrong.

In conclusion, I find it ironic that six weeks after David and Michele agreed to a new child support motion that he is now suing Michele for custody of their minor children. This appears to me as a play for him to get money out of Michele, and hurt her deeply by taking away the pleasure she derives in seeing her children every day. In addition, it would hurt Zack and myself because we have put an enormous amount of time and energy in to Simon and Miriam. Everything I’ve read states that most parents spend no more than 30 minutes per day with their children, yet we exceed that because we spend the great majority of our time with them.

01 February

Mandated Child Support

June 21, 2002

Hennepin County DC246637
Ref: Michele Davis

To Whom It May Concern:

Michele has had a successful career as a contract-consulting writer for software companies, being compensated well until last year when she was unemployed for seven months. Now, in 2002 she has not had consistent employment and has struggled financially. Although, in my opinion, Michele has always been frugal and managed money well as she buys all clothing for her family second-hand, and most home items as well, yet she has struggled because her and her children’s standard of living has changed.

When Michele and David Meyer, settled upon a child support amount, David’s lawyer requested our tax returns, and based David’s less than Minnesota’s recommended percentage amount of support on Michele’s income. We agreed to this at the time to get the process completed, but were not fully pleased with the way the situation was manipulated in David’s favor, and against his children’s.

Currently, I am the major provider for the household including Michele, Zachery, Simon and Miriam. I’m not begrudging as I willingly took on this role but given Michele’s unemployment David’s support isn’t enough to adequately support the children. As I stated above we are frugal. We buy most of our clothing second hand or at discount stores. We’ve joined a farm-share to get produce at a discount over the summer. We don’t buy what we can’t afford.

We are watching as friends and family are laid off. A friend of ours was just let go from a technology job last week. He had worked for this employer for 12 years. My father-in-law’s company went from 155 employees in January 2002, to 45 in June 2002, and he fears he may be out of a job soon.

My company is shutting down from July 1st to July 7th to compensate for the weak economy. It saves manufacturers more money to shutdown a plant for a week than to layoff employees. I have to either use vacation days or lose income for that week. Additionally, there have been recent layoffs and I have no job security because my department is going to be moved to Marshalltown, Iowa before the end of the year 2002. Which means, I too, will be among the many unemployed.

Michele has been working very hard to find employment. She’s placed ads for work. She’s being very flexible. She volunteers her skills as a writer for her children’s school while looking for work. And currently, she’s accepted a part-time retail position, but her hands are tied because the Modification of Divorce Decree did not allow a provision for daycare for Simon and Miriam if Michele would take a full-time position, therefore she would be saddled with the daycare costs of both Simon and Miriam if she were to work more than part-time.

Because of our financial position we cannot send the kids to the Summer Arts camp at St. Paul Academy, which Simon had gone to for 9 consecutive summers and Miriam for 4 consecutive summers. We cannot afford to send the kids to the YMCA camps that they went to last summer. We cannot afford to send Simon to Cello lessons, or Boy Scouts. The kids lose out because of the limited support. When Michele has attempted to ask for some additional funds from David his response has been threatening, telling her that if she can’t “financially support the kids, then a different arrangement should be made.”

Michele is an excellent mother, home every day after school for both Simon and Miriam, spending all her free time doing homework, reading, and playing with her children. It seems a sad state of affairs that Simon and Miriam have to suffer financially because the Modification of Divorce Decree does not allot the maximum mandated child support from the children’s father.


Jon A. Phillips

01 February

Chanhassen Pickup Fuss

RE: Michele Davis and David Meyer
Court File No. 246637

Dear Nancy:

This letter is to inform you of issues that have been detailed in the Modification we created in March 2001 which my client is getting harassed by Mr. Meyer to change.

In the parties 2002 calendar Ms. Davis let Mr. Meyer have a weekly custodial day and alternating weekends during summer break. She did this to avoid continuous argument over the 2002 calendar. Yet, on page 3 of the Modification it states that Mr. Meyer gets a custodial weekday and every other weekend during the school year only, not during the summer. Mr. Meyer has sent Ms. Davis a proposed 2003 schedule where he gets 5 consecutive weekends in a row 2 times during the summer. Ms. Davis is strictly following the Modification in which Mr. Meyer does not get weekends and a custodial week day during the summer, but does get his Sunday to Sunday custodial week and other time as detailed under Other Holidays on page 3 and 4.

As you may recall we established a weekly custodial night of Tuesday or Wednesday from 5:00-7:30PM. This was what we called, “dinner with dad.” It was a check in time for Mr. Meyer to visit briefly with the children. Mr. Meyer sent an email to Ms. Davis that states: “Dinner with Dad was when I was living in Minneapolis. The drive to Chanhassen makes it physically impossible to have dinner with dad and Simon’s & Miriam’s new family.” When we created the Modification, Mr. Meyer knew he would be moving to Chanhassen since he stated he was moving in February 2001 court paperwork because of his summer 2000 engagement to Jeanna Paradise. Mr. Meyer did not add in the Modification that “dinner with dad” would only last while he lived in Minneapolis. A lack of planning on Mr. Meyer’s part does not justify changing the custodial calendar. Ms. Davis is maintaining the Modification regarding Mr. Meyer’s custodial night pick up, which is 5PM.

The last issue Mr. Meyer is arguing with Ms. Davis about is who picks up the children in Chanhassen. The Modification clearly states that “…when they shall be returned to Petitioner’s home.” This statement can be found in the Modification on page 3, under the titles School Year and Summer. This indicates that Mr. Meyer is required to return the children to Ms. Davis at her home.

To reiterate, Ms. Davis plans on following the Modification in reference to: 1) the summer custodial time, 2) weekly custodial day pickup time of 5PM, and 3) dropping off the children at Ms. Davis’ home after Mr. Meyer’s custodial time. Ms. Davis is willing to work with Mr. Meyer to eliminate any ambiguities in the current Modification, such as pick up times on Mr. Meyer’s additional custodial days, i.e., Halloween every other year. However, Ms. Davis will not continue to discuss issues that are clear in the Modification. At present, Ms. Davis is being harassed via email by Mr. Meyer to change the aforementioned issues. She also gets non-stop weekly phone calls where Mr. Meyer asks to pick up the children earlier. As an example, Mr. Meyer states in an email to Ms. Davis dated December 19, 2002: “I made the biggest compromise possible by letting the kids live with you. I don’t see where I can compromise with the amount of time I deserve with the kids.” And: “The kids do want to spend more time with me. In the past year, Simon has asked repeatedly to LIVE with me. I feel Miriam is afraid to tell you that she would like to spend a reasonable amount of time on Tuesday nights because of your past reactions she has witnessed.”

We all know the history of this case, and Mr. Meyer wants to paint a picture of this being an unhealthy arrangement, yet Mr. Meyer agreed to this Modification in September 2001. Mr. Meyer is also presenting issues in an attempt to hurt Ms. Davis. Simon’s requests to live with Mr. Meyer occurred in summer 2002 and were addressed in his October 2002 Affidavit accompanying his Motion which was denied by Referee Moehn. Ms. Davis does not need to be harassed with this information. In addition, when Ms. Davis asks Mr. Meyer to compromise he continues to state that “Just a reminder, we initially agreed to $600 in child support. And now you get $160 more per month because of your “life change”. So please remember, that I have been flexible to your changes in your life.” Additional child support wasn’t a compromise, as Mr. Meyer now pays the state mandated minimum. He acts as if additional child support were a favor he was granting Ms. Davis, but it is the complete opposite, as it is ensuring that the minor children are entitled to the same life style they had prior to the divorce.
The incessant nagging my client is receiving from Mr. Meyer, of which I have included a small sampling of, is becoming intolerable and it hinders progress between the two parties. Please reiterate to your client that the Modification is clear and final on the issues discussed above.

Please contact me at (612) 370-0376 if you have any questions or concerns.



01 February

Simon Custody & School

Reading through these documents makes me picture my dark haired exHusband as a crying whiney fussy baby.

The Honorable Brian P. Moehn
Courts Tower, Room C-550
Hennepin County Government Center
300 South Sixth Street
Minneapolis, MN 55487

RE: Michele Davis and David Meyer
Court File No. 246637

Dear Referee Moehn:

This letter is in response to your letter regarding the appointment of an expediter in the above-referenced matter. In your letter, you said that if the parties did not come agree to an expediter, you would appoint Ellen Mount. Neither my client nor I have any experience with Ms. Mount and as such have no objection to her. We do, however, have a concern, not necessarily with her but with whomever is appointed. The concern is the cost.

The parties were in Court before you not that long ago regarding issues of custody and school attendance among other things. In your Order from that action, you denied everyone’s various motions but appointed a Guardian ad Litem/joint custody expediter. We all thought that was a good idea at the time but unfortunately Mary Cincotta, the person that was appointed, seemed confused about her role. We believe that Mr. Davis was also confused about Ms. Cincotta’s role because he immediately began pressuring Ms. Cincotta to meet and make decisions regarding where the children would be going to school, even though that question had just been answered in Court with your Order. Ms. Cincotta was under the impression that she was to meet the children and then file a report giving her opinion where the children should go to school and live. As I said, those issues had recently already been decided by you. Mr. Davis’ numerous calls to Ms. Cincotta resulted in numerous calls to my client, all regarding issues that we believe were not even to be discussed and were beyond the scope of what Ms. Cincotta was supposed to be doing in her role as GAL/joint custody expediter. I would add that it appeared that Ms. Cincotta’s bill for the parties was between $900.00 and $1,000 for one month. My client simply cannot afford to pay those kinds of costs. My client cannot afford to pay for every time she is contacted by the GAL or expediter because Mr. Davis calls regarding some issue that is not to be dealt with by the GAL or expediter at this time. Mr. Davis calls excessively without first trying to talk to my client and is insisting on talking about changing the children’s schools and permanent changes to the parenting time, issues you decided, in my client’s favor, in your Order. Mr. Meyer seems to think he now gets another bite at the apple with the GAL/joint custody expediter. As I said, he calls the GAL often and my client is concerned that his efforts will cause her costs to increase as well to the point that she simply can’t afford to pay them. She believes she is being penalized for Mr. Davis’ abuse of the system and would like some controls or guidance on what the GAL or expediter can do and what issues they are able to hear now. I believe there is still confusion by everyone involved as to what the GAL’s role is and what power she has and also just what power the new appointee would have. Ms. Cincotta apparently believes that she does not have the power to make any decisions in this matter; she believes she can only mediate. That may be the case and what your Honor intended but the parties don’t know that and would ask for some clarification from the Court.

Neither my client nor I know what Ms. Mount charges per hour for her services. As I said above, my client is concerned that Mr. Davis will cause the bill to increase exponentially because of his excessive calls. We would like there to be some control placed on the use of the GAL and expediter. We had also talked with Angie Banga about providing expediter services. She charges only $60.00 per hour. She is an attorney but is currently inactive to focus on her Guardian ad Litem and expediter services. Mr. Davis has not agreed to use her yet but I would ask the Court to look to her as a possible choice. My client is currently unemployed, taking odd jobs where she can get them. My client and I thought the idea behind appointing a GAL/joint custody expediter was to help there people make decisions at as low a cost to them as possible. Now we’re adding yet another person to the mix. It would appear that the costs are increasing rather than decreasing.

Again, we would ask that you at least consider appointing Angie Banga. She has said that she is willing to meet with both parties at any time. She is a reasonable alternative and she is not cost-prohibitive. We would also ask that you put some limits on what the parties can call the GAL and/or expediter about and give some guidance to the appointees regarding their roles and what power they have to make decisions. It is our understanding that the question of whether or not the children should change their residence from my client’s home to Mr. Davis’ home was already decided by you and is not up for discussion now. Like wise the question about where the children should go to school. You have already decided that issue and it is not an appropriate topic for the GAL or expediter at this time. I would ask that you let me know if I and my client are mistaken.

Please contact me at (612)630-2244 if you have any questions or concerns.



Kurtis L. Berg, Esq.
cc: Nancy E. Murphy, Esq.

01 February

Such a Big Deal About Haircuts!

27 September 2002

To Whom it May Concern:

I, Nicci Shidla, am Miriam Davis’ hairstylist. I work at Hair Police, and have come from a hair styling family. My father is co-owner of Kent Here for Hair in Linden Hills. I have attended Beauty School, and have my license. I have cut Miriam Davis and Simon Meyer’s hair for two years, prior to that another Hair Police associate, Stef, cut Miriam and Simon’s hair. Their mother, Michele Davis, has been coming to Hair Police since college.

Michele cut Miriam’s bangs, because she was unable to get an appointment with me. But I did tell her that she did a good job. As soon as my next appointment was available, Miriam came in to get a trim. I can also verify that what Mr. Meyer claims is a “mullet” on Miriam, is not. She has a typical young girls haircut, which is layered and face framing.

A mullet haircut is short in the front, and short around the ears (approximately two inches or shorter) and long in the back (shoulder length or longer.) This is called, jokingly, “Nothing up front and all the business in the back.” Miriam, most certainly does not have a haircut like that.

In addition, Michele or her husband Jon, regularly bring Simon and Miriam and occasionally Zack in for haircuts. I see Simon and Miriam approximately every 8-10 weeks. Michele allows the children to dictate their own haircuts, within reason, and always adequately parents them when they are in the salon waiting for the other child to finish getting their haircut. They are both well-behaved, and Simon and I have a good rapport as we talk about music, video games and the life of an 11 year old boy. They are delightful children.