Wisdom of MY Words

Random Musings & Book Reviews

Archive for the 'Douche Nozzle' Category

14 July

Frost Cabinets

It is so very very frustrating to be partially blind and have serious depth perception issues. The text on my phone when dialing is so small I am unable to enter the digits needed to place a call and actually need someone to help me. Juan has been working on the kitchen and we are ready to get some cabinets estimates. I used Google, and the hits included Frost Cabinets.

I went to their website and all the text is teeny tiny. I was unsuccessful in finding a phone number. You’ve got your Index (Home), Kitchens, Cabinets, Built-ins, Furniture, Misc. I scrolled through each link looking for a numeric string. Eh, lady, fuck you, there’s no number. OK. So I can’t get Juan to call for me. I’d have to actually do <B><I>more</B></I> steps. The DH is already maxed so it’s important that I come to him with everything done, not giving him another task because I can’t find a phone number.

At the base of every page is: ©Frost Cabinets   |   Contact Us: info@frostcabinets.com; and since that’s all I had, I sent an email.  Before noon on the 12 July, and now it’s the 14 July 2017 at 1809 hours, so they ain’t calling Juan Carlo until next week. They don’t have a phone number but every damn page has an email addy on the bottom. Your web designer sucks big dicks. Email read, as such, below.

I am in the middle of a kitchen remodel and need a bid for cabinets. We have done the project ourselves with the help of a childhood friend who is a kitchen architect, and know exactly what we want.
We have our counter picked out, we now need the cabinets started.
My home is a 1938 two-story, and as kitchens were not the hub back then, my space is small, ~20’x17′. I don’t really have a budget, I just knew I wasn’t going to hire a GC and drop 100 grand for a kitchen remodel with crappy appliances. My budget is for nice appliances (in place, electric done, stack for sink in progress, walls getting mudded as I type), and some fancy custom wood work.
On the NE wall of my kitchen my daughter and one of her design-type GFs (just 22 year olds, not yet established) along with myself want to put in a custom built cabinet that has bookcases. If the expense seems large, I can do the kitchen in stages, so either way I am ready to hire someone and get this kitchen done.
I had a cancerous brain mets tumour removed in April and am blind in one eye, so it’s best to call the husband, Juan Carlo. His number is 612-860-5826 to set up an appointment.
We are looking forward to hearing from you.

No phone number and then they what? Don’t check their email? No energy, none whatsoever. I just felt if they were going to work with us they should have context. It’s not like I’m asking them to ring the DH because I don’t want to deal with it. I just can’t use my phone, so it’s never really with me. It’s just an application storer right now.


The owner emailed this morning, 16 July 2017, because apparently only people in glass towers are expected to c heck their email consistently.

Hi Michele,

I am vacationing until Tuesday.
I will be in touch when I am back at my desk.

Thank you,
Jon Frost

01 February

Such a Big Deal About Haircuts!

27 September 2002

To Whom it May Concern:

I, Nicci Shidla, am Miriam Davis’ hairstylist. I work at Hair Police, and have come from a hair styling family. My father is co-owner of Kent Here for Hair in Linden Hills. I have attended Beauty School, and have my license. I have cut Miriam Davis and Simon Meyer’s hair for two years, prior to that another Hair Police associate, Stef, cut Miriam and Simon’s hair. Their mother, Michele Davis, has been coming to Hair Police since college.

Michele cut Miriam’s bangs, because she was unable to get an appointment with me. But I did tell her that she did a good job. As soon as my next appointment was available, Miriam came in to get a trim. I can also verify that what Mr. Meyer claims is a “mullet” on Miriam, is not. She has a typical young girls haircut, which is layered and face framing.

A mullet haircut is short in the front, and short around the ears (approximately two inches or shorter) and long in the back (shoulder length or longer.) This is called, jokingly, “Nothing up front and all the business in the back.” Miriam, most certainly does not have a haircut like that.

In addition, Michele or her husband Jon, regularly bring Simon and Miriam and occasionally Zack in for haircuts. I see Simon and Miriam approximately every 8-10 weeks. Michele allows the children to dictate their own haircuts, within reason, and always adequately parents them when they are in the salon waiting for the other child to finish getting their haircut. They are both well-behaved, and Simon and I have a good rapport as we talk about music, video games and the life of an 11 year old boy. They are delightful children.

26 January

Randal York, Cenbion

The husband has been working for this cat, Randy York, whose interactions with the DH, after he downloaded them to me, had a sheen of dirt. Boy-o was working for SEH (Short Elliot Hendrickson), with Randy as the “many hat man,” as he was recruiter, project manager, bean counter.

When I started this blog, shortly after starting to submit short stories as Missy Phillips since I was talking about things that I didn’t want my friends, let alone the public at large, to know about, let alone judge me, ultimately shaming me for my experiences. Raised by a narcissistic single mother who was an abusive lesbian in the 70s, isn’t something for genteel conversation. Exactly why I didn’t write about it before. My kids were younger and couldn’t stand on their own, particularly my heart, my pea. Now that they are older and adults I can write what I want.

Ugh, just thinking about this cat, Randal York, makes me want to spit. I’m spitting mad I guess. Boo. Raspberries.

Dis cat Randy, what a complete douche nozzle. I haven’t used that blog post Category in years, mostly while writing about my ex-husband, yet Randy embodies the term. Remember what I said on Facebook? Didn’t see it? Oh, well. I said, “If you want to understand Trump study him. What he has said, during what period of time, what was the culture like when he grew up?” I also said, that I am the kind of person to research someone in the hopes that I understand them. Mostly I do when I’m done, yet my judgement exists in all it’s guillotine-like forms.

Isn’t it interesting that when you live in one city you intrinsically know which parts of town are safe, or which ones are gentrified. I’m not sure if this ability comes from reading and applying data to city-wide house demographics, or if it’s more primal than that, something innate. Some people get eaten by lions, others do not. I have done immoral things and I’ve been on the bottom, oh most certainly, however I, like Archer, always seem to land on top.

When I came to Minneapolis I had a vision of the Southside of Chicago where Aunt Hattie and other relatives from the Chihosz side lived. Small tight thin tinfoil package of pink sickly sweet cotton candy shaped like a half pound of ground beef, secure in its tiny package amongst other sweets at the corner store.

Standing beneath the el I’d grab my pigtails and pull as I screamed at the top of my lungs. Aunt Hattie’s second floor flat, the upstairs of her home; a duplex, had a wooden back porch that would rattle as the train shucked past, dimming the windows, ringing with the whooshing of air around the train, and the buildings surrounding it’s journey, giving not a care for the people whose Easter dinner was disrupted by jiggling china.

Milwaukee and Chicago are similar in their urban notion that geography on the Northside of the city is more valuable than that on the Southside of the city. Except, there are pockets called the Northside in MKE, which are really low income pockets of real estate in the near Northside. That means, apparently, real estate and people residing as close as you can to the elusive north shore where I grew up, and straight north down 143.

Minneapolis directs south, toward the first ring affluent suburb of Edina, and anything on the Northside, well it’s crap. Randy is Northside. His g-ed out “small penis man has midlife crisis car” is embarrassing.

There was a five week gap between when the DH started SEH and when he was paid, but the first check didn’t arrive. Randy assured him, “It was in the mail!” When the following weeks check showed up and yet not that check, I became suspicious of Randy’s overall competence. Two weeks after the first pay check of the contract with Randy went missing it showed up in our postal box.

The envelope was handwritten and said:
Jon Phillips
Kraut Companies
Minneapolis MN 55417

I’m surprised it actually got to us! Google to the rescue. There was undoubtable proof that Randy mis-wrote the envelope, yet his decision was to double-down on his denial of personal responsibility. The fourth check went the way of the first check and we drove to pick up a check from Randy. We met in St Louis Park near a Brueggers, Randy holding court with his gleaming car hood up and surrounded by a couple of dudes oggling the engine. I asked the husband if Randy was gay.

That got a snorty nose laugh, and he leaned in, his breath grazing my face, him smelling like my husband, all delicious and irresistible, and said in my ear,”Marroied. He probably leaves racing stripes on his mighty whitey’s because he can’t win his arse properly.”

I hooted and laughed so loud Randy turned around and gaped at me. Picking up a check felt like a drug deal. The DH had to drive and pick up checks from Randy for two more years. Incompetence? You think? How is it possible to run a successful business yet not be able to run a label to avoid printed errors? Randy is an IT guy.

The bedrock of IT is check your work. IT is maths and science and expectations vs reality; yet this cat can’t even get a check out the door with the address legible and deliverable. Isn’t that the bare minimum of Randy’s job? Just WTF?

17 November

Dumbass Sightings, In the Wild, Number Three

My daughter and I went to the McDonald’s drive through check-out window to pay our bill and I gave the assistant a £5 note.

Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.

She said, “You gave me too much money.

I said, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.”

She sighed and went to get the Manager, who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said: “We’re sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.”

The assistant then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.

Do not confuse the assistants at MacDonald’s.

29 September

Voldemort Dies

Yup. This is classic. All I need to do is run to Sam’s Club or Costco and pick up some big bag of multi-roll Bounty, renew my gun license and plan a sneak attack.

He’s such a douche nozzle, which ChaCha, the Prodigal Son’s friend, says is worse than being a douche bag. I see the logic in that thinking. Really, I do.


Say it ain’t so!