Wisdom of MY Words

Random Musings & Book Reviews

Archive for the 'Drinking' Category

30 July

Books & Ferrets – Worse Name Ever

A decade ago I registered for a French Classe that met by Lunds Uptown. It was inexpensive, but the instructor, Fawn, was super disorganized. I’ve a low tolerance for air headed disorganization. I attended twice, and at the second classe Fawn said something shaming to me. I don’t remember what, but I do remember the feeling, as I captured it in writing in a notebook. I remember that it was based on my opinion and that she shot me down about my own, personal study-abroad experience in France. The luxury of being slightly literal and elucidating facts in an Asbergery, detailed, precise manner in a journal every day of my life since Nana Wolski taught me how to read. “Felt dirty and hot. Shame seeped through me. Fawn is insecure. Needs to be center of attention. As a black woman she believes her experience is more valid than a white woman being raised by a divorced, single abusive lesbian.  Juan Carlo convinced me to give the classe another chance, even though it was filled with women I didn’t like who were sycophantly sucking up to Fawn.

02 February

Meeting the Ottos

Jill is walking toward me with a filled to the brim urine yellow Leine’s Honey Weiss. As her thin frame moved toward me a male-female couple to our right leaned forward toward us and asked what we thought of the late night Houlihan crowd?

I’m parched. A bit of cotton mouth from my medications. Ibprofen. Migraine meds like Maxalt, Compazine suppositories (taken rectally, indeed), Xanax, Ambien, Vicodin. My stomach must be lined with lead because I’m always unaffected, or so I think. I forget about the morning hangovers. I forget the only way I know my husband and I had sex is if my pussy aches. If he was gentle I don’t remember a thing.

It’s become a sick routine.

Often I feel violated. I quit Ambien to remember, but then I literally never sleep. I don’t sleep and then I sleep even less because my productivity suffered for the day, or the whole week. I hoard my Ambien because no one wants to label Ambien as a drug that you should you shouldn’t ever, ever take when consuming alcohol or while conducting life. Sounds crazy, right?

Yet, no, you can’t drive least you get into an accident and don’t remember anything the next day. Read this article in the HuffPost about the disturbing side affects of Ambient. Too many pharmaceuticals. I am able to see that now. It has made me look at the health care field, doctors, and big pharma-promoted ways to alleviate pain, regulate insulin levels, any array of maladies that have plagued man forever, but in this age of everything we ingest being an imitation of real food, drugs, supplements, spices.

Poly-pharmacueticality was a part-time hobby. Chronic pain that didn’t go away with knee surgeries, two different scopes; one on each knee. Migraines. Sleep. Ever present need to turn off the voices in my head. No, I am not schizophrenic. The voices I hear are telling me stories, explaining who they are, or having dialogues with other characters. This rich inner world has been part of my life my all fifty-two years.

Worse yet, I over-supplemented for years, until I started seeing Dr. Merlin Brown.

There were certainly days that Jon raped me. Where he used wile and guile to seduce me. Telling me how much he missed me. I call it rape for these reasons:
1. It was often against my will
2. We were both too drunk to be having sex
3. Always penile penetration, never foreplay

But oh G-d I love him, so I often over-looked his mysoginyst bullshit. But now that he’s early forties I’ve been explaining things and he understands and he’s really trying to be a good man and respect my boundaries. For that I love him ever more now, in 2017. 18 years after marriage. This stuff is hard! Ha.

01 February

Daily Bottle of Wine

October 1, 2002

To whom it may concern,

I have been married to Michele Davis for three years as well as Simon and Miriam’s step-father. During this time I have had numerous interactions with the Respondent. The Respondent does not make eye contact with me but instead looks down at the ground when we talk in person.

The Respondent seems very angry and agitated when I talk with him. He sweats, shakes, and stutters. Respondent has called me creepy and weird to my face, asking me why he has to talk to me, and trying to argue with me in front of our home. Respondent has told my wife that I make him uncomfortable, yet when Michele and I were engaged, after their divorce, I helped the Respondent install a master brake cylinder in his car. He also asked me to hook up the dishwasher in his house that we gave him. I said, “No,” because he treated me badly after I helped him with his car. I’ve been civil and outgoing towards the Respondent and the thanks I get is being called names.

When I speak with the Respondent he often insists that he speak with Michele instead. It is a simple fact that as Petitioner’s spouse I sometimes need to communicate information with the Respondent. In addition, sometimes Michele and David have had a particularly grueling conflict, and I then deal with him because Michele doesn’t want to. Her father has advised her to stay as far away from his as possible because he is volatile.

I have witnessed the Respondent treat everyone poorly and sometimes hostilely. On one occasion Respondent did not come up to my car or say goodbye to the Simon and Miriam because he was too busy tending the lawn. On another occasion Brad, his step-son, picked up the kids and the Respondent did not introduce Brad. When asked about why Brad wasn’t introduced, the Respondent said it is because they are “all scared” of Michele and that “nobody likes her at their house, what do you expect with your attitude?” Clearly, there exists hostility toward us at the Respondent’s house which certainly doesn’t help us to communicate and cooperate. Nor do I understand where this comes from, unless the Respondent and his wife are divulging personal information to Jeanna’s children. Jeanna’s children, as far as I’m concerned should not be allowed to know the conflict that exists between Respondent and Michele.

I try to communicate with David to reduce the level of conflict between him and Michele, because David doesn’t know how to upset me, or as one of our friends said, “He doesn’t know which buttons to push with you, and that’s why he doesn’t like talking to you.” I also do not have a complicated history with the Respondent as Michele does, having been with him from 1989 to 1999. However, the Respondent resists speaking with me and does his best to make this more difficult. He has been on the phone with me, attempting to engage me in a fight, and I just won’t let him. I tell him I won’t argue, and when he continues to do so, I tell him I’m hanging up.

On one occasion Respondent became so angry that he pushed my solar plexus repeatedly with his two fingers, which left a bruise. On another occasion the Respondent refused to speak with me and I had to communicate with his wife. She is pleasant, but has her own agenda and the conversation did not go smoothly, with her continually interrupting me and treating me disrespectfully.

In the Respondent’s Affidavit he makes a claim that he believes the current parenting schedule is “…harmful to the children. In part, this is due to Petitioner’s financial situation as well as physical problems she has experienced.” Currently, I have a stable job at a national company and make a sufficient income to provide for Michele, myself and Zack. I also have consistently provided for Simon and Miriam because the Respondent’s child support was insufficient and not the State mandated minimum. Michele has requested reimbursement for uncovered medical costs and the Respondent has refused to respond to her letter. Yes, indeed Michele’s income has gone down from what it was when we got married, but she has had employment from December 2000 to April 2001, erratic book editing during the summer of 2001, she answered phones at an office while the kids were at Summer School at St. Paul Academy. Then she was unemployed from September to December 2001, worked steadily at a contract and co-authored a book up until May 2002. She started advertising her Web design services and computer expertise and has been working part time all summer, and still is. I don’t see the relevancy of “our” financial situation, does Michele working part time because the economy is slow make her a bad or unfit mother? On the contrary, this gives her more time to play with Simon and Miriam. Just the other afternoon she played Scrabble with both of them. Neither child goes without. We buy organic meat, feed them well, buy them the clothes they want, get their hair professionally cut, and buy things like a computer for Simon and Miriam’s use, a skateboard for Simon and expensive bikes for both kids. Frankly, our whole family does not go without.

As far as I can tell the only difference in the Respondent’s home and ours is: cable television, an X-Box and a trampoline. We live in a nice house, each child has their own room, and we do not have cable television because we believe in limited television access.

In addition, Michele being home for the children every day after school was wonderful when we belonged to Calhoun Beach Club, which closed in March for renovation, every Tuesday and Thursday she took Simon and Miriam swimming in the indoor pool.

After 11 years of nonsmoking, I’ve watched my wife, because of the stress of this Motion for Custody on the Respondent’s part take up smoking. I do not allow Michele to smoke in the house. I understand her need for an outlet since she doesn’t drink much, and exercises just enough to not re-injure her leg. But it is distressing as her ex-husband is vindictive and nasty, to see her smoking after an 11 year hiatus. I also want to add that Simon and Miriam have told us that BOTH the Respondent and his wife smoke cigars quite frequently, and that the Respondent polishes off a bottle of wine every night.

Michele and I have an established network of friends that we often do things with, this always includes the children. We rarely go out alone without the children. We enjoy the children, they are our precious treasures. I, personally, volunteer my computer skills to both Hale and Field, Miriam and Simon’s respective schools, and have volunteered at the Barnes & Noble book fair that Hale/Field sponsor, for two years in a row. I believe that it would literally destroy the children to be uprooted from their primary home, school, Church, friends, biological brother, as well as Michele and I. In addition, I believe that David cannot do fifth or sixth grade Math, or at the very least doesn’t pay attention and adequately check over Simon’s problems. Simon and I have to re-do Math homework after he has been at his father’s because the answers are consistently wrong.

In conclusion, I find it ironic that six weeks after David and Michele agreed to a new child support motion that he is now suing Michele for custody of their minor children. This appears to me as a play for him to get money out of Michele, and hurt her deeply by taking away the pleasure she derives in seeing her children every day. In addition, it would hurt Zack and myself because we have put an enormous amount of time and energy in to Simon and Miriam. Everything I’ve read states that most parents spend no more than 30 minutes per day with their children, yet we exceed that because we spend the great majority of our time with them.


Jon Phillips

09 July

Health Studies and How It Affects Everyone

The Hartford Courant ran an article about an 1800 person study commissioned by Aetna Life & Casualty and they claim that my children are less healthy my Gen-X generation, or my parents the Baby Boomers.


UPDATE on this gloomy day in August 2013: http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2013/08/05/aetna-withdraws-connecticut-health-exchange/2619695/

The nuts and bolts of the study asked people ages 25-64 (which would include me, but exclude my mother) which generation they believe is the healthiest. 45% said their own generation! Laughable! My own mother, 68, doesn’t exercise. She doesn’t take walks, unless it’s in a mall to get to a sale. She’s retired. She does less walking now than she did when she worked fulltime. Then, 32% said it was their parents’ generation; which would be me saying the Baby Boomers are healthier than us Gen-Xers, and lastly, 23% said it was the Millennials. Considering a lot of Millennials are pretty young (like my own three: 22, 18 and 13), and are either in school or working they have nothing better to do than drink, and exercise. Pretty much the same thing I was doing at their age!

Since Aetna is trying to sell people health insurance, the study didn’t include any one of Medicare age, because well, they can’t sell anything but Medi-Gap to them. The bad thing is that Millennial’s were described as people between 25-36; which is ludicrous! Anyone born before 1980 should not be a Millennial: Gen Y comes right after Gen-X, and that term was popularized by Douglas Coupland’s 1991 novel Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture. It was supposed to include people born in the early 60s to the early 80s, and that works with the 1982 date that Generation Y was given when Ad Age coined the term in an 1993 op-ed article.

Twice as many Boomers than either Gen-X or Millennials defined “being healthy” as getting recommended medical screenings and checkups. There is a reason for this, once job security is a thing of the past, health care costs soar, and intelligent people decide that seeing a doctor and being charged $800-1500 for the blood work done at a physical is unimportant, it means they care where their money is spent, not that they are unhealthy!

An even better arbiter of being healthy, eating well, is more important on a day-to-day basis, but only 12% of Baby Boomers agree, with 14% of Gen-Xers and 24% of Gen-Y. That’s because we fed our kids more veg and fruit than our parents EVER fed us!

Another good measurement of being healthy is regular exercise (get your 10,00 steps in a day people!) but only 12% of Boomers, 14% of Gen-Xers and 22% of Millennials think so, and actually voted that way.

Lastly, 37% of Millennials, 23% Gen-Xers, and 16% Boomers said they reach for alcohol when stressed, and far worse is that 51% of Millennials, 48% of Gen-X and 36% of Baby Boomers said they reach for junk food when tense.

How Aetna reads this study is going to affect how they price policies for health insurance. Overwhelmingly it looks to me like Gen-Y is healthier, but if they consider that alcohol statistic along with the snacks then it isn’t going to be the adage of: the older you are the more you pay for insurance, it will be everyone affected by a rise in premiums because of a study of only 1800 people.

25 November


Jack lines his beer bottles or cans up like he is lining up pussy conquests. What’s up with that?


So he didn’t get much pussy action in his life, but this deal with lining up the beers is really pissing me off.

And this is Jack’s motto:


11 October

Booze Cruise, Now for XBox

Courtesy of The Register:

A new videogame has been developed which aims to simulate the experience of drunk driving. The game, named “Booze Cruise”, was coded as an academic project aimed at social betterment, rather than a sick commercial stunt to cash in on the worst aspects of human nature.

“The basic story is that this person is absolutely pissed and woke up in the trunk of their car and now is going to drive home,” according to Calgary digital media prof Jim Parker, quoted by Reuters.

“Booze Cruise” simulates the effects of drunkenness by the use of blurry and narrowed imagery, annoying lag times etc. Challenges include pedestrians, other cars and a police checkpoint.Apparently there are also “distractions on the side of the road, like pink elephants”, which Parker added “just for fun”.

Ha ha – what a card. Some kind of virtual puking experience might have been a tad more gritty, perhaps.

Well, just as an interjection, this is what happens when you drink too much vodka and take out your mother’s fucking car and wrap it around a light pole:


Yes, that’s my car, driven by a drunken 16 year old. I mean I got a Beamer out of the deal, but I sure did like that Jetta. My AC Compressor was left at the scene of the crime.

It seems that Canadian plods assisted in the design of the game, “trying to make it as realistic as possible”, according to Reuters. The Alberta coppers apparently reckon that “Booze Cruise” could help cut down on drink driving.

“It’s going to be a great tool,” Constable Rob Haffner told the wire-service scribes.

“Whatever education that we can get out there is always going to be beneficial as far as drinking and driving goes.”

Parker acknowledges that many teenagers are very familiar with driving videogames – games which might well be more fun to play than his, as the graphics aren’t crippled and the lags are minimised. But he still thinks that his software “will persuade them that alcohol will affect their skills”.

That may be true, but surely it would be even more persuasive for an overconfident youth to polish off a few tins of lager and then take on a sober opponent in the racing videogame of their choice. By comparison, Parker’s game wouldn’t seem to really prove anything about alcohol, just about the developers’ view of it. The pink elephants may not help much with the credibility issue, either.

Nonetheless, the media prof is undaunted.

“This is aimed not at adults, this is aimed at people who are 13 to 16,” he said. “We want to stop them from doing it in advance.”