Wisdom of MY Words

Random Musings & Book Reviews

Archive for the 'Life' Category

09 September
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Rachael Sarto

 

I am 52. I am dying. Of metastasized breast cancer. Located in my brain. While I don’t have an oncologist, because I tried with Dr. David Potter. He lied at the start of his phone call to me. I realize that most people don’t listen and therefore he feels like he can say whatever he wants. The problem is, I listen. Then again, that’s why doctor’s are said to have a G-d complex: because they don’t listen.

Sarto’s Linked In profile states, under job title of Clinical Social Worker/Therapist, Kind and direct clinical social worker and therapist with experience supporting people in the midst of loss, grief, change, physical illness, and mental illness,. I enjoy working with individuals, families, groups.

Uh. What just happened?

This is the introduction post to <B>every single solitary MSW in existence. Over all time.</B>

What’s she telling me about herself?

What makes her unique?

Nothing apparently. I should see her because she says she listens?

Her references on LinkedIn are a circle jerk from her coworkers. She has no information that tells me anything about her. In order for me to confide in someone, especially after 38 years of therapy, my grandmother treating me like a Catholic Church priest abuse victim, forcing me into therapy at 16, I’m not able to confide in someone who so clearly has zero personality.

Then her photos. A big part of my problem is that since I am beautiful, thin, and smart; I need a therapist that can understand unwanted attention from both sexes. My entire life, starting when I was 11–going to Dave Ziemer’s father’s dental office and getting cat called by construction. workers, I thought that was normal.

Juan Carlo didn’t say anything when I showed him her photo. He was pensive and then he replied, Yeah, there’s no way I can sit in session and look at her face.

Then an old home GF from Milwaukee came over and spent the day talking, making me feel less crazy because her manner of speaking is the way I speak. She is home. Like Sara Oxton is home because she has similar background to my sweet bearded Scandoboy. Highland Park has always reminded me of the North Shore. It’s a first tier suburb that still thinks it’s in the city. St. Paul is old and was built by Catholics. Jews too.

 

05 August
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Gabby’s

Sitting at a high top table in the NW corner of the bar were two girls about my age. Both blonde with straight, short noses, high cheekbones, skin so pale it could be translucent, and thin, bird-like lips. I was slamming Diet Cokes, tense, jittery, just wanting to blow off steam, alone, at a bar, on the dance floor. I’m not dressed for the club. Adrienne is not with me. It’s an impromptu stop on the way home from the Broadway Avenue Y after swimming precisely 82 laps, which, in that particular pool, was a mile.

It was 1985 and Ami strutted her stuff across the street from that Y. I’d given her a ride and some cash. I’d stopped at Gabby’s because I desperately wanted a drink but hated alcohol. Standing at the bar wearing blood red Swatch capri leggings, Joan & David black skimmers — just black leather flats with a sole that allowed me to skim on the wood dance floor, feeling weightless, an oversized Ralph Lauren white button down with a blank tank top underneath, big gold hoop earrings, and a giant loose curl bob that stuck out five inches on either side of my head.

In private to my friends and boyfriend, I called it my Jewfro. When I turned around there were now four blonde girls at the high top. These Minnesota girls were worse than Nicolet girls. Their blondness intimidated me. All four were staring at me. They’d occasionally lean towards another blonde head, hand a wall between

30 July
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Books & Ferrets – Worse Name Ever

A decade ago I registered for a French Classe that met by Lunds Uptown. It was inexpensive, but the instructor, Fawn, was super disorganized. I’ve a low tolerance for air headed disorganization. I attended twice, and at the second classe Fawn said something shaming to me. I don’t remember what, but I do remember the feeling, as I captured it in writing in a notebook. I remember that it was based on my opinion and that she shot me down about my own, personal study-abroad experience in France. The luxury of being slightly literal and elucidating facts in an Asbergery, detailed, precise manner in a journal every day of my life since Nana Wolski taught me how to read. “Felt dirty and hot. Shame seeped through me. Fawn is insecure. Needs to be center of attention. As a black woman she believes her experience is more valid than a white woman being raised by a divorced, single abusive lesbian.  Juan Carlo convinced me to give the classe another chance, even though it was filled with women I didn’t like who were sycophantly sucking up to Fawn.

14 July
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Frost Cabinets

It is so very very frustrating to be partially blind and have serious depth perception issues. The text on my phone when dialing is so small I am unable to enter the digits needed to place a call and actually need someone to help me. Juan has been working on the kitchen and we are ready to get some cabinets estimates. I used Google, and the hits included Frost Cabinets.

I went to their website and all the text is teeny tiny. I was unsuccessful in finding a phone number. You’ve got your Index (Home), Kitchens, Cabinets, Built-ins, Furniture, Misc. I scrolled through each link looking for a numeric string. Eh, lady, fuck you, there’s no number. OK. So I can’t get Juan to call for me. I’d have to actually do <B><I>more</B></I> steps. The DH is already maxed so it’s important that I come to him with everything done, not giving him another task because I can’t find a phone number.

At the base of every page is: ©Frost Cabinets   |   Contact Us: info@frostcabinets.com; and since that’s all I had, I sent an email.  Before noon on the 12 July, and now it’s the 14 July 2017 at 1809 hours, so they ain’t calling Juan Carlo until next week. They don’t have a phone number but every damn page has an email addy on the bottom. Your web designer sucks big dicks. Email read, as such, below.

Hello,
I am in the middle of a kitchen remodel and need a bid for cabinets. We have done the project ourselves with the help of a childhood friend who is a kitchen architect, and know exactly what we want.
We have our counter picked out, we now need the cabinets started.
My home is a 1938 two-story, and as kitchens were not the hub back then, my space is small, ~20’x17′. I don’t really have a budget, I just knew I wasn’t going to hire a GC and drop 100 grand for a kitchen remodel with crappy appliances. My budget is for nice appliances (in place, electric done, stack for sink in progress, walls getting mudded as I type), and some fancy custom wood work.
On the NE wall of my kitchen my daughter and one of her design-type GFs (just 22 year olds, not yet established) along with myself want to put in a custom built cabinet that has bookcases. If the expense seems large, I can do the kitchen in stages, so either way I am ready to hire someone and get this kitchen done.
I had a cancerous brain mets tumour removed in April and am blind in one eye, so it’s best to call the husband, Juan Carlo. His number is 612-860-5826 to set up an appointment.
We are looking forward to hearing from you.
Cheers,
M.

No phone number and then they what? Don’t check their email? No energy, none whatsoever. I just felt if they were going to work with us they should have context. It’s not like I’m asking them to ring the DH because I don’t want to deal with it. I just can’t use my phone, so it’s never really with me. It’s just an application storer right now.

<B>Update</B>

The owner emailed this morning, 16 July 2017, because apparently only people in glass towers are expected to c heck their email consistently.

Hi Michele,

I am vacationing until Tuesday.
I will be in touch when I am back at my desk.

Thank you,
Jon Frost

17 June
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Milwaukee Television 1960s

Milwaukee PBS began broadcasting on October 28, 1957, becoming the nation’s 28th educational television station on WMVS-TV. It was licensed to Milwaukee Area Technical College which had established a Television and Video Production Program in 1952. This partnership was designed by community leaders in order to provide hands-on training to MATC students, as well as support to the operations of Channel 10.

In its first years, Channel 10 broadcast 17.5 hours of programming each week, Monday-Friday 5 p.m. until 8:30 p.m. Shortly into its launch, Milwaukee Public Schools and the Catholic Archdiocese began using Channel 10 as an instructional tool, one of the main catalysts for the station’s rapid growth. By 1962, it was broadcasting a total of 69 hours weekly.

Channel 10 began offering additional programming from other public television stations through the National Educational Network but was also producing and airing local programs such as Wee Weekly, The Inquiring Mind, Way Off Broadway, Green Thumb and Golden Years.

In 1963, MATC obtained a license for a second station, WMVT-TV, assigned to Channel 36. Throughout the years, the two stations experienced technological advances, including broadcasting in color in 1965, joining the PBS satellite system in 1978, stereo broadcasting in 1985, and digital broadcasting in 2000.

 

02 May
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Stage 4 Caregiver

Since my grandmother died in 2009 I have had no-one to talk to about my problems with my husband except my therapist. It’s overwhelming. There is always a drama or a problem, an untruth or magical thinking. Gas lighting and stonewalling are a daily part of my life. This bad behaviour my son now mirrors and all I want to do is run away, far, far away. Fly away like a bird. Far, far away. But I’m visually impaired and unable to drive so my life is fucked. I’ve felt trapped for as long as I can remember. I agreed to a marriage and have asked for a divorce, a separation, a Quit Claim on the house, a whole myriad of requests to dissolve our union and my husband agrees and then pretends the conversation never occurred, let alone he said Yes to moving out. Or Yes to getting that Quit Claim.

He just can’t get to doing anything. His energy level is less than anyone I’ve ever met. He cannot manage an 8-hour day working at anything. So nothing gets done. We have discussions of the same things over and over again. He floats a solution and then never moves toward that solution. No goals. On a good day Minnesota culture is already exhausting. You can’t even cancel an appointment with a substantial 30 hour notice without being guilted, treated poorly, and shamed. That’s from a supposed professional, a Naturopath.

For me stripping my diet down has gotten me in touch with my body. When something is off I can feel it. Last summer I started to feel off, and while I’d felt off since Boston in March 2015, this was significantly different. I started smoking weed around then because I was in so much pain. Or what I thought at the time was a lot of pain. Little did I know that the pain would get far, far worse before any doctor would authorize a scan. Without a scan, even though I knew beyond a reasonable doubt that I had brain mets, the husband believes he knows better, about everything, even my head, and didn’t believe me. No matter how many times I told him I had brain cancer, he didn’t believe me until I got the scan and in less than eight hours my GP was saying I needed to check into the hospital immediately for surgery.

The husband is a shoe-in as a resident of Missouri because he expects everything to be SHOWN to him, just like Missouri’s license plate, The Show Me State. Without a scan I refuse to believe you have brain mets, was his position, and it’s hard living with someone that never hears a word out of your mouth unless it’s substantiated by indisputable facts. It’s exhausting. And I’m tired.

Because Nana was dead I confided in my new found cousin, Dawn. Instead of listening and validating, both super important to me, I received constant lectures about leaving my husband. Unfortunately my cousin doesn’t have money so she doesn’t understand the trap you can get into when you take an asset that is individual and make it joint. When you do that you’ve just fucked yourself.

So this conversation happened between by cousin and I.

Dawn: You need to leave him. He’s toxic. Blah blah blah blah yada yada yada blah blah
Me: I need someone to take care of me.
Dawn: ….
Me: Are you going to fly up here and take care of me?
Dawn: Ron would take care of me.

Are you confused? I was flabbergasted. Al she had to do was say No, but instead she started doing her own alcoholic tap dancing where she couldn’t be bothered to give a direct response to a direct question. Instead she floated a non-sequa

23 February
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Awful Platinum American Express Experience

Monday I was making appointments for Juan Carlo and I for massages at Spa Sweet. They use a reservation software called Acuity. I made the appointments in my office, where I have a Mac mini that is NOT connected to my phone. I DESPISE, as a writer who is trying to write, being constantly pestered by my Apple products searching for me when I get a call or text. The phone is a phone, and the computer is a computer, and the iPad is a web browser in the kitchen, with ring through on ONLY for my daughter’s phone number.

I book the appointments, four hours later go look for my phone and there are millions of alerts on my screen. Three calls from what looks like that expensive Jail Notification System. Then three calls to the Google phone, literally twenty (20) seconds after three calls to my regular mobile. So someone in the call center pushed a button and the IVR system called me on the 8208 mobile, then, because they are idiots, they pushed a button that called the Google number, and that displays on my phone too.

American Express has the personality of an addict that blows up your phone when they’ve done something dumb and gone to jail.

I have no energy to call Amex, but when I’m sitting in the car because JC is running into the library on President’s Day I check my email. There are two emails from Amex. One asks if I charged $1 to Acorn TV. I clicked No, and it prompted me to answer Yes or No if I charged $1 to Acuity. Yes I clicked. That was the reservation software for Spa Sweet. (Look for their review shortly.)

I called Amex on Tuesday and they didn’t know what I was talking about and refused to connect me to the Fraud Dept. Or the cow on the phone WAS with Fraud and had zero soft skills. I said nothing and just hung up. I paid cash for my massage, so there’d be no outstanding charges.

Yesterday I won an eBay auction for about $80 US and they blocked that charge as Fraud and started blowing up my phone. Again, just as the 877 number was blowing up my phone. Then Amex called agin this morning, both my mobile and the Google phone. None of these messages are a live person, btw, they are the IVR system. A recording, telling me to call Amex.

I spend over fifty grand ($50,000) with American Express every year and cannot get decent service.

Juan keeps saying, “Be the change you want to see.” So I’ve cancelled my American Express and now have to find a new credit card. My card is worthless anyway because the Delta companion tickets can’t be used in First or Business Class anymore, so I won’t be flying Delta now that KLM has way better fares anyway! Or Virgin.

Apparently the customer is never right since American Express moved their call center to India. Poor English skills, unwillingness to do as the customer requests, absolute defiance from a low level worker. I literally asked for a supervisor five different times and some chica name Prajakt?c (I gave up because I couldn’t understand her.) She refused to use commonly recognizable words to indicate her letters.) So She said P, but I thought she said B, therefore kept asking, “B as in Bravo?. She kept saying No, Paaaa. Finally, I said, look what are you saying B as in Bravo? T as in Tango, P as in Papa?”

She ignored me, and kept saying the letters. I asked again if it was Bravo or Papa and she finally WHISPERED Pa—-pa. I feel INSANE. Couldn’t she have said, “Yes, Papa?” Call Center Reps should be trained in NATO phonetics even if they’re in India, ja? Hysterically the link above has a header graphic of a CALL CENTER!

On top of that they stall you for over twenty minutes to try and get you to NOT cancel your card! Unreal! Last month I couldn’t even reach someone that was willing to close my Neiman Marcus account! This is crazy. I’m still the customer.

01 February
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When Lawsuits Happen

Every one of your friends writes a character reference/ Usually for your lawyer.

25 September 2002

To whom it may concern:

I have been Michele Davis’ friend for approximately 18 years and have been through several ‘stages’ of her life with her. I have known her through college, her marriage to David Meyer, the raising of their children Simon and Miriam, and their ensuing separation and divorce. This was followed by Michele’s marriage to Jon and the birth of their child, Zachery, for whom I am a Godparent. Throughout these stages, arranging her life for her kids has always been her first priority. Michele has always impressed me with how she is such an intelligent, energetic, and capable mother.

Professionally, Michele is an accomplished writer, and has developed a recognized expertise in the Technical Writing and Consulting field. I have known Michele as she advanced her career by obtaining her Master’s degree, working consistently as an independent consultant. This progression allowed her to expand her career while at the same time providing independence with her schedule and allowing her to work from home. Michele made these choices and purposefully designed her life so that she could be available as a mother for Simon, Miriam, and Zachery.

Michele’s actions have always demonstrated her attention and focus on her parenting role, ever since Simon was born. For example, although David was out of town on Simon’s second birthday, Michele celebrated it with a party for Simon to which I and several of Michele’s close friends attended. That is the way Michele is; a woman of principle, she would not allow Simon’s birthday to go uncelebrated, even though he was only two and David was not there. Consistently, she has adapted her career and work schedule to be available for Simon and Miriam.

Today, the family environment Michele and Jon provide for Simon, Miriam, and Zachery centers around the kids. Their home is a learning environment where Michele is always teaching and challenging them to grow intellectually and emotionally. She works hard to instill family, religious, and social values. I attended a Christmas celebration at Michele and Jon’s home with my fiancée at the time, although Simon and Miriam would be at David’s for the actual holiday. Michele made a great effort to make sure they all had a Christmas together as a family with her and Jon. I can personally attest that Simon and Miriam enjoyed it and a nurturing family environment was very obvious.

This May 2002, Simon and Miriam were confirmed at their parish, Annunciation. Michele’s father and step-mother drove in from Wisconsin, Jon’s parents flew up from Florida, and many friends were invited to celebrate this rite of passage for Simon and Miriam. Michele puts enormous energy in to making a family, not only with her own parents and Jon’s, but an extended family that includes good friends, such as myself, Anne Heike and Shelby Kingman along with their two children, Dirk Koenig, as well as Todd Schmidt and his wife Rebecca Miner. She is a devoted mother and appreciates how important events are for the children. I have been to many a birthday party for Simon, Miriam and Zachery over the past four years. I find it commendable that Michele reaches out to her friends and makes us a part of her family.

She is very aware of Simon and Miriam’s abilities – she knows and understands them as only a mother can, even when they test their limits as every young child does. In fact, I believe Michele has an exceptional understanding of Simon and his intelligence and grasp of the world. When necessary, she disciplines while providing guidance and maintaining respect. Her discipline is always appropriate, and never mistreating; and both Simon and Miriam listen to her. Michele is very fair, and she lets them know her expectations. Her nature is to be forthright with her opinion with whomever she speaks, and she is the same way with her kids, although she is very careful of her language with them.

I have never seen Michele or Jon discipline any of the kids inappropriately, in fact quite the opposite. A recent example of discipline I witnessed when at their home was when Simon rode Miriam’s bicycle down the street without asking Miriam’s permission. This upset Miriam; Michele and Jon handled the situation appropriately, asking Simon to apologize to Miriam and to then take a ‘time-out’ in his bedroom for 10 minutes.

Zachery’s introduction into Michele, Jon, Simon and Miriam’s lives has been very positive. Simon and Miriam are both very excited to have a ‘baby brother’, seeing all of them in the room together makes it obvious that they have developed a close bond. Michele, Jon, Simon and Miriam all work together as a team to take care of Zachery. Simon and Miriam both visibly show their affection for Zachery and their eagerness to care for him and play with him. In some ways, Zachery has brought a common focus to the ‘team’ that they all rally around. This has resulted in even more of a family environment, which I always enjoy seeing when I visit. Michele continues to impress me with her abilities to be a mother for the three kids, she does a great job – all of them benefit and none of them suffer. Both Michele and Jon help the kids with their homework and are encouraging of school activities, ranging from music to sports and academics. Michele is very concerned about getting a proper education for them, and is very thorough in her selection of schools, with only what is best for the kids’ education as her intent.

I have thus personally witnessed Michele as a mother for Simon and Miriam and Zachery. Despite the additional challenges of going through a divorce and helping the kids through the associated strains, Michele has always been there for her kids, first and foremost. She never loses sight of her priorities, despite the many challenges she has had from David. She strives to protect and shelter Simon and Miriam from any discord as much as possible, and I can attest to the many times she has been frustrated by the exposure to issues (e.g. custody and financial support) that David has caused to the kids, despite her attempts to shield them from it.

31 January
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Trump +12

12 Days
Post Election
Chaos reigns
This is what it must’ve been like to watch as your society reacted to forces brought upon them by leaders like Lenin, Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini.
If you start brutalizing people first
Kristallnacht.
Pogroms.
Muslim ban.
Put the Jews in ghettos
Spread fake news (both sides of the aisle)
Then start brutalizing them

25 January
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ObamaCare 1

In one of many interviews, Buffett sounded almost giddy when talking about how the insurance business allows companies to “invest other people’s money and keep all the earnings on those investments.”

This applies to health insurance in America. Obama pandered to the health insurance companies, and they in turn decided to pull health care policies from the open market.

The reason we have problems with health insurance in the states, is because of Buffet’s comment above. The Richie Rich in America have SPECULATED with people’s health FOR PROFIT! They’ve lost, and continue to lose, but hope that Trump helps dig them out.

You can’t indemnify people’s health since you will always need to maintain health. Health indemnification will always end up screwing the people who wanted to profit off a middle market, created by an open market, and the concept of health as something to financially leverage.

We should want a healthy populace, if we as Americans want success for Americans, especially if we want to make America great again.