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Archive for the 'Prodigal Son' Category

01 February
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Simon Custody & School

Reading through these documents makes me picture my dark haired exHusband as a crying whiney fussy baby.

The Honorable Brian P. Moehn
Courts Tower, Room C-550
Hennepin County Government Center
300 South Sixth Street
Minneapolis, MN 55487

RE: Michele Davis and David Meyer
Court File No. 246637

Dear Referee Moehn:

This letter is in response to your letter regarding the appointment of an expediter in the above-referenced matter. In your letter, you said that if the parties did not come agree to an expediter, you would appoint Ellen Mount. Neither my client nor I have any experience with Ms. Mount and as such have no objection to her. We do, however, have a concern, not necessarily with her but with whomever is appointed. The concern is the cost.

The parties were in Court before you not that long ago regarding issues of custody and school attendance among other things. In your Order from that action, you denied everyone’s various motions but appointed a Guardian ad Litem/joint custody expediter. We all thought that was a good idea at the time but unfortunately Mary Cincotta, the person that was appointed, seemed confused about her role. We believe that Mr. Davis was also confused about Ms. Cincotta’s role because he immediately began pressuring Ms. Cincotta to meet and make decisions regarding where the children would be going to school, even though that question had just been answered in Court with your Order. Ms. Cincotta was under the impression that she was to meet the children and then file a report giving her opinion where the children should go to school and live. As I said, those issues had recently already been decided by you. Mr. Davis’ numerous calls to Ms. Cincotta resulted in numerous calls to my client, all regarding issues that we believe were not even to be discussed and were beyond the scope of what Ms. Cincotta was supposed to be doing in her role as GAL/joint custody expediter. I would add that it appeared that Ms. Cincotta’s bill for the parties was between $900.00 and $1,000 for one month. My client simply cannot afford to pay those kinds of costs. My client cannot afford to pay for every time she is contacted by the GAL or expediter because Mr. Davis calls regarding some issue that is not to be dealt with by the GAL or expediter at this time. Mr. Davis calls excessively without first trying to talk to my client and is insisting on talking about changing the children’s schools and permanent changes to the parenting time, issues you decided, in my client’s favor, in your Order. Mr. Meyer seems to think he now gets another bite at the apple with the GAL/joint custody expediter. As I said, he calls the GAL often and my client is concerned that his efforts will cause her costs to increase as well to the point that she simply can’t afford to pay them. She believes she is being penalized for Mr. Davis’ abuse of the system and would like some controls or guidance on what the GAL or expediter can do and what issues they are able to hear now. I believe there is still confusion by everyone involved as to what the GAL’s role is and what power she has and also just what power the new appointee would have. Ms. Cincotta apparently believes that she does not have the power to make any decisions in this matter; she believes she can only mediate. That may be the case and what your Honor intended but the parties don’t know that and would ask for some clarification from the Court.

Neither my client nor I know what Ms. Mount charges per hour for her services. As I said above, my client is concerned that Mr. Davis will cause the bill to increase exponentially because of his excessive calls. We would like there to be some control placed on the use of the GAL and expediter. We had also talked with Angie Banga about providing expediter services. She charges only $60.00 per hour. She is an attorney but is currently inactive to focus on her Guardian ad Litem and expediter services. Mr. Davis has not agreed to use her yet but I would ask the Court to look to her as a possible choice. My client is currently unemployed, taking odd jobs where she can get them. My client and I thought the idea behind appointing a GAL/joint custody expediter was to help there people make decisions at as low a cost to them as possible. Now we’re adding yet another person to the mix. It would appear that the costs are increasing rather than decreasing.

Again, we would ask that you at least consider appointing Angie Banga. She has said that she is willing to meet with both parties at any time. She is a reasonable alternative and she is not cost-prohibitive. We would also ask that you put some limits on what the parties can call the GAL and/or expediter about and give some guidance to the appointees regarding their roles and what power they have to make decisions. It is our understanding that the question of whether or not the children should change their residence from my client’s home to Mr. Davis’ home was already decided by you and is not up for discussion now. Like wise the question about where the children should go to school. You have already decided that issue and it is not an appropriate topic for the GAL or expediter at this time. I would ask that you let me know if I and my client are mistaken.

Please contact me at (612)630-2244 if you have any questions or concerns.

Sincerely,

KURTIS L. BERG AND ASSOCIATES, LTD.

Kurtis L. Berg, Esq.
cc: Nancy E. Murphy, Esq.

01 February
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When Lawsuits Happen

Every one of your friends writes a character reference/ Usually for your lawyer.

25 September 2002

To whom it may concern:

I have been Michele Davis’ friend for approximately 18 years and have been through several ‘stages’ of her life with her. I have known her through college, her marriage to David Meyer, the raising of their children Simon and Miriam, and their ensuing separation and divorce. This was followed by Michele’s marriage to Jon and the birth of their child, Zachery, for whom I am a Godparent. Throughout these stages, arranging her life for her kids has always been her first priority. Michele has always impressed me with how she is such an intelligent, energetic, and capable mother.

Professionally, Michele is an accomplished writer, and has developed a recognized expertise in the Technical Writing and Consulting field. I have known Michele as she advanced her career by obtaining her Master’s degree, working consistently as an independent consultant. This progression allowed her to expand her career while at the same time providing independence with her schedule and allowing her to work from home. Michele made these choices and purposefully designed her life so that she could be available as a mother for Simon, Miriam, and Zachery.

Michele’s actions have always demonstrated her attention and focus on her parenting role, ever since Simon was born. For example, although David was out of town on Simon’s second birthday, Michele celebrated it with a party for Simon to which I and several of Michele’s close friends attended. That is the way Michele is; a woman of principle, she would not allow Simon’s birthday to go uncelebrated, even though he was only two and David was not there. Consistently, she has adapted her career and work schedule to be available for Simon and Miriam.

Today, the family environment Michele and Jon provide for Simon, Miriam, and Zachery centers around the kids. Their home is a learning environment where Michele is always teaching and challenging them to grow intellectually and emotionally. She works hard to instill family, religious, and social values. I attended a Christmas celebration at Michele and Jon’s home with my fiancée at the time, although Simon and Miriam would be at David’s for the actual holiday. Michele made a great effort to make sure they all had a Christmas together as a family with her and Jon. I can personally attest that Simon and Miriam enjoyed it and a nurturing family environment was very obvious.

This May 2002, Simon and Miriam were confirmed at their parish, Annunciation. Michele’s father and step-mother drove in from Wisconsin, Jon’s parents flew up from Florida, and many friends were invited to celebrate this rite of passage for Simon and Miriam. Michele puts enormous energy in to making a family, not only with her own parents and Jon’s, but an extended family that includes good friends, such as myself, Anne Heike and Shelby Kingman along with their two children, Dirk Koenig, as well as Todd Schmidt and his wife Rebecca Miner. She is a devoted mother and appreciates how important events are for the children. I have been to many a birthday party for Simon, Miriam and Zachery over the past four years. I find it commendable that Michele reaches out to her friends and makes us a part of her family.

She is very aware of Simon and Miriam’s abilities – she knows and understands them as only a mother can, even when they test their limits as every young child does. In fact, I believe Michele has an exceptional understanding of Simon and his intelligence and grasp of the world. When necessary, she disciplines while providing guidance and maintaining respect. Her discipline is always appropriate, and never mistreating; and both Simon and Miriam listen to her. Michele is very fair, and she lets them know her expectations. Her nature is to be forthright with her opinion with whomever she speaks, and she is the same way with her kids, although she is very careful of her language with them.

I have never seen Michele or Jon discipline any of the kids inappropriately, in fact quite the opposite. A recent example of discipline I witnessed when at their home was when Simon rode Miriam’s bicycle down the street without asking Miriam’s permission. This upset Miriam; Michele and Jon handled the situation appropriately, asking Simon to apologize to Miriam and to then take a ‘time-out’ in his bedroom for 10 minutes.

Zachery’s introduction into Michele, Jon, Simon and Miriam’s lives has been very positive. Simon and Miriam are both very excited to have a ‘baby brother’, seeing all of them in the room together makes it obvious that they have developed a close bond. Michele, Jon, Simon and Miriam all work together as a team to take care of Zachery. Simon and Miriam both visibly show their affection for Zachery and their eagerness to care for him and play with him. In some ways, Zachery has brought a common focus to the ‘team’ that they all rally around. This has resulted in even more of a family environment, which I always enjoy seeing when I visit. Michele continues to impress me with her abilities to be a mother for the three kids, she does a great job – all of them benefit and none of them suffer. Both Michele and Jon help the kids with their homework and are encouraging of school activities, ranging from music to sports and academics. Michele is very concerned about getting a proper education for them, and is very thorough in her selection of schools, with only what is best for the kids’ education as her intent.

I have thus personally witnessed Michele as a mother for Simon and Miriam and Zachery. Despite the additional challenges of going through a divorce and helping the kids through the associated strains, Michele has always been there for her kids, first and foremost. She never loses sight of her priorities, despite the many challenges she has had from David. She strives to protect and shelter Simon and Miriam from any discord as much as possible, and I can attest to the many times she has been frustrated by the exposure to issues (e.g. custody and financial support) that David has caused to the kids, despite her attempts to shield them from it.

01 February
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There Brass Rail

Subject:
RE: brass rail
From:
“Dirk Koenig”
Date:
Thu, 15 Aug 2002 14:12:40 -0500
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Hmmm….

When Heather and I watch TV, quite often it’s an interactive thing because of TiVo. I can pause the live TV, or any programs we’ve taped, and we talk. Sometimes it’s just to try and figure out an actors name, what’s happening in the story, or to decide what we would have done in the characters place, depending on the show we’re watching. I suppose you could do the same thing with movies on VHS or DVD. As for reading, do you read out loud to Simon? I think you told me once, but I can’t remember. It seems funny to me that you’re supposed to spend time together, but only when Simon isn’t being FORCED to spend time with you. The therapist is essentially saying that it’s Simon’s decision when to spend time with you, but it’s your fault that you don’t spend more time together…. (That may be true, but a few suggestions might be helpful!)

As for cable TV, Simon is probably like any other 11 year old boy or girl. He wants what he wants and he wants it now. As we talked about before, you disarmed him of his ability to push your buttons when you started the ‘huggy-kissy don’t get mad-dy’ approach with him. It seems clear to me (a total outsider with limited info) that he’s looking for more hot buttons and that the recent ‘bad mother’ epic is giving him more ammunition. Naturally, that Hitler-esque ex-husband of yours isn’t doing anything to dissuade him of those ideas. If you can’t afford cable right now, then that’s all Simon needs to know. Additionally, he seems bright enough to understand that abandoning your mother in order to get cable TV is pretty fucking shallow. I’m sure you can pretty that up when you explain it to him again….

Sadly for Simon, the two people he’s supposed to love more than anyone in the world can’t stand each other and he ends up bearing messages of disdain between his mother and father. I have a hard time imagining that Simon came up with the concept of liquidating his stock portfolio and filing suit against you in family court. (I don’t know, maybe he’s a young Perry Mason, already) To me, though, that sounds like parental manipulation to try and put you over the edge. It’s good that you countered that the way you did.

I agree that it’s unlikely that anyone would split Simon and Miriam. This must be incredibly tough on them, Simon in particular, to have to deal with all this. If it was me, I’d want to retreat (to my cave, if you’re a Mars-Venus reader) and play some video games or watch TV, rather than have to sit around and think about my miserable home life. While I think John Grey is a quack, he’s definitely right about men retreating to solitude when under stress or faced with difficult decisions. I think boys are like that, too. I’d wager that Simon’s cave activities developed around TV and video games, just like mine did.

Now that soccer is over does he have any sports activites? Will there be sports when school starts again? Minnesota Sword Club is close by….

Dirk

P.S. Sorry for rambling. About your block, have you ever thought about web logging? It’s essentially just writing a journal online. It can be public or private, but it lets me write about stuff without having to worry about what I’m supposed to be writing, when I have a deadline. I guess you could view mine at http://weblog.balsamlake.net. It’s in reverse chronology, and I haven’t posted to it in a while, but you’ll get the idea. Eventually, you’ll be writing a weblog entry and the end of your chapter will come streaming back to you. http://www.blogger.com is a good site for getting a weblog started.
—–Original Message—–
From: Michele Davis [mailto:michele@krautgrrl.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 15, 2002 12:02 PM
To: Dirk Koenig
Subject: Re: brass rail

Jon and I met with Simon’s therapist Monday, who shared with us, that Simon stated that I do not spend enough time with him. When I told the therapist that I watch movies with him that he wants to rent, read with him every day out loud, the therapist proceeded to tell me that watching television together wasn’t “quality time” as it was a passive activity, and that reading out loud doesn’t count because “i make him do it.”

School tells parents that children entering 6th grade should read out loud 20 minutes, and then read alone another 40-60 minutes. Watching films that are discussed afterwards provides a forum for learning, in my opinion. Why do I feel like every time I turn around someone is telling me I’m a bad mother when I’m not? If it isn’t David, now it’s Simon, or Simon’s therapist. It seems to me with Simon that it’s all about what he wants to have and doesn’t have. In other words, he wants cable television now, but we really can’t afford it. He told me I was a “crap” mother because I wouldn’t get cable.

After Simon came home Sunday night from David’s he told me he wanted to live with his dad and he was going to take his stock fund and take me to court. I told him that wasn’t HIS stock fund to use until he goes to college, and that I can easily return Nana Davis’ educational bond to her instead of letting him cash it in. I then find out from Simon that HE doesn’t want to live with his dad, but that David is pushing for Simon to live with him and Simon feels torn. PLUS, as Simon states, “Dad has an X-Box and cable.”

My lawyer states that no judge is going to split up Simon and Miriam as they are full biological siblings, in addition Zack as half-brother. So we are at a cross-hairs.

Am I crazy???????

In addition, I am blocked creatively. I cannot seem to finish my first chapter of my novel. Grrrrrrrr……..

Dirk Koenig wrote:

How can I help? I may have lost the thread of what troubles you among the
stripper jokes…

Dirk

—–Original Message—–
From: Michele Davis [mailto:michele@krautgrrl.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2002 10:29 PM
To: Dirk Koenig
Subject: brass rail

YUK. We used to go watch the fat chicks dance there. I’m looking for
sympathy, or are men immune to empathy?


Michele “Facts are stupid.”
from http://www.oopsy-daisy.com/ouchy/teesOD/factsarestupid.cfm
www.krautgrrl.com

31 January
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Difficult Time for Simon

25 September 2002

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing this letter in defense of Michele Davis and her competency as a parent. I have known Michele Davis and her family for four years. We were first introduced and became friends when our daughters were playmates in nursery school and today they are still very close friends (as are we).

In the fours years that I have known Michele I have watched her family grow. I have watched her tireless and caring efforts to ease her children through the painful and recent transitions of divorce, new marriages and the arrival of a new sibling.

Our two families have become very close during our friendship. We have spent many birthdays, holidays, family celebrations and weekend time together. I know Michele to be a committed mother, a caring person, and a loyal friend. All three of her children are well adjusted, well behaved, a pleasure be with and to know and love. It is my opinion, that this is due to her diligent and careful parenting and the nurturing home and family-life she has struggled to build.

Michele is consistent and generous in her parenting. Ever since I have known her she has arranged her schedule to be home after school for the children (which is especially noteworthy as their school day has sometimes ended at 2:15). I have often heard her say that her children come first in her life, and I know this first-hand to be true.

I know Simon, in particular has had difficulty adjusting to the changes in his life. The past four years have not been easy for Simon. I have personally watched him push boundaries one minute and then cling the next. He is a smart, loving boy struggling to find solid ground. Michele has consistently provided Simon with an amazing amount of patience, respect, tenderness, and guidance, while giving him the necessary space an 11-year old boy needs to enter adolescence with confidence and grace. I think more, now then ever, Simon needs the safety and comfort of the parent who has taken this hard journey with him and that parent is Michele.

Signed,

____________________________________________
Anne Heike Date

31 January
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Contempt Of Court Petition

STATE OF MINNESOTA DISTRICT COURT

COUNTY OF HENNEPIN FOURTH JUDICIAL DISTRICT

FAMILY COURT DIVISION

Court File No. DC 246637

____________________________
In Re the Marriage of:

M Davis,
Petitioner,
ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE
and
D Meyer,
Respondent.

THE STATE OF MINNESOTA TO THE ABOVE-NAMED RESPONDENT, DAVID M. MEYER:
Based upon the attached Notice of Motion and Motion, Petitioner’s Supporting Affidavit, attached Exhibits, all the files and records available herein:

IT IS HEREBY ORDERED that D. Meyer personally appear at the Hennepin Government Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota, MN., on the 29th day of August, 2006 at 2:30 a.m. or p.m., or as soon thereafter as counsel can be heard, and show cause to this Court, if any you may have, why an Order should not be made granting the Petitioner any and all relief prayed for in her attached Motion.

IT IS HEREBY ORDERED:
1. That the Respondent show why he should not be found in “Contempt of Court” pursuant to Rule 309, and why the Petitioner should not be granted the Respondent’s fifty percent (50%) of the minor child, Miriam’s, 2004-2005 school tuition fee, tithing fee and registration fee in the amount of $1,425.00, and the Respondent’s fifty percent (50%) of the minor child, Miriam’s, 2005-2006 tithing fee in the amount of $200.00 requested in the Petitioner’s Notice of Motion and Motion brought before the Court for violating the Stipulation and Order to Amend Judgment and Decree dated September 12, 2001, and signed by the Honorable Stephen C. Aldrich, on page 5., paragraph A., which states:

“A. Schools – Including Private Schools. The parties shall try to reach an agreement on the school each child shall attend taking into account the child’s special needs and talents. The cost of private school attendance shall be shared equally between the parties, if private school attendance is agreed upon.”

2. That the Respondent show why he should not be found in “Contempt of Court” pursuant to Rule 309, and why the Petitioner should not be granted the Respondent’s fifty percent (50%) of the minor child, Simon’s, orthodontia work (braces) in the amount of $2,280.00 and half of a dental bill on behalf of the minor children, Simon and Miriam, in the amount of $292.00 requested in the Petitioner’s Notice of Motion and Motion brought before the Court for violating the Stipulation and Order to Amend Judgment and Decree dated September 12, 2001, and signed by the Honorable Stephen C. Aldrich, on page 5., paragraph A., which states:

“2. Conclusions of Law No. 6 and 7 of the parties’ Judgment and Decree of May 4, 1999 shall be deleted in its entirety and the following shall be substituted in lieu thereof.
Medical Insurance Coverage. Respondent shall continue to provide such medical and dental insurances as available to him through his employment for the benefit of the minor children. If Respondent’s employment or the cost of his insurance coverage substantially changes, the issue of medical and dental insurance coverage shall be renegotiated between the parties. Major costs such as orthodontia or glasses or contacts shall be divided equally between the parties. For elective procedures, both parties will discuss the necessity of such procedure, and if approved, shall share the cost equally. If not agreed upon, this issue may be submitted to a mediator or arbitrator for determination.”
3. IT IS HEREBY ORDERED that the Respondent bring to court his last
pay stub for 2005, his paystubs for June 2006, and his 2004 and 2005 income taxes and W2s to verify his income.

4. IT IS HEREBY ALSO ORDERED that this Order to Show Cause be personally served upon the Respondent by showing to him the signature of the undersigned Judge of District Court on the original of this Order to Show Cause.
Dated: ____________________, 2006 BY THE COURT:
____________________________________
Judge of Hennepin County District Court

31 January
0Comments

Simon at 17

03 January 2007

Simon Meyer
5416 Columbus Avenue S.
Minneapolis, MN 55417

To Whom It May Concern:

I, Simon Meyer, birth date March 1991 have been living with my mother, Michele Davis and stepfather, Jon Phillips, fulltime since August 29, 2006. I have spent one evening from 12AM-5AM at my father’s home since then, and I have not spent any custodial time with him, nor has he contributed to the cost of my care while I have been living with my mother besides the previously agreed-upon child support.

As far as extra curricular activities are concerned, I was unable to participate in soccer this past fall, but am avidly snowboarding almost every day, and do participate in summer soccer camps for my age group. My interests now lie in moving towards some of my goals, such as music sampling for a career as a Sound Engineer. This would include purchasing a soundboard and mixing software, I would consider this an extra-curricular activity, which my mother cannot afford given her current financial restrictions and her limited child support.

I have no intention of going to my father, David Meyer’s home. I plan to remain living with my mother and stepfather.

Sincerely,

S. Meyer

31 January
0Comments

When You Are Actively a Bitch

17 March 2006

Dear David:

Here is a storm window from Kathy Palmer’s house at 4712 Beard Avenue S. She is the mother of Liz Harness. During your custodial week-end of March 10-12, Simon threw his cell phone at Liz’s window, breaking it.

They expect it to be replaced or fixed. I’ve already done some of the leg work with Kathy. Since this occurred during your custodial time it is your responsibility to get the window repaired and returned to the Palmer/Harness residence.

I so enjoy co-parenting with you.

M.

30 January
0Comments

Bathroom Problems

Simon and I were having a muffled word conversation about him peeing in the corner of his room instead of going to the bathroom in the middle of the night when suddenly his father was in the room, standing tall, thick, broad, puffy face that was easy to red because he couldn’t control his drinking, his presence was agitated with anger. His energy was full of knives. Now I was scared. Minutes before I was just fine, but suddenly the fight or flight response, the desire to batter my husband about the head to get him off my child, my boy with Nana Davis’s eyes, was raging in my head. I couldn’t think and then he started hollering.

Midwestern Voldemort was bellowing, “Do you know what we do to dogs that pee on carpet? Little boys don’t pee on carpets, only dogs,” and my son’s father, my rapist, grabbed our son by the back of his narrow red freckled neck like he was a rabbit, kitten, or guinea pig, and pushed his head until it jutted forward and then he pressed his fat khaki covered legs, knee bent, onto my sons thin, frail back and pushed him hard and fast into the carpet, rubbing his face well into the tight polyester blue curls filled with musty, stinky urine. Simon got up in the middle of the night and urinated behind an old midCentury channel backed chair of Nana’s in the corner of his bedroom. He’d been doing it for weeks and the room had started to smell, and the floor to lose it’s varnish. Urine as floor stripper.

17 December
0Comments

Choosing Dykedom

If someone was always telling me what I said a decade ago, or two, or hell, when I was barely cognizant of the absolute crockery that came out of my over-educated, white privileged mouth, in the media, well, it would make me mad. As in cows and dogs get mad, people only get angry. I’d get all dog-frothy at the mouth mad about Trump and his stupid mouth. This is one thing I understand about this fucktard Scottish Germanic scum, his mouth. You know why? Because I’m a bastard of Welshian Prussianess and hell if I know what else. I understand his drive to be better than his father, or his mother, and that has driven him to the White House.

Donald Trump is leader of the free world.
Pigs fly.
If A + B = no never mind, I’m getting all philosophical now. I’m missing my son Simon. I’m missing having these bizarre talks with him. No one else can be him., He is uniquely him. That’s what started this article. Realizing that when my mother says, “You can’t be krautgrrl. You’re more Polish than I am, and you’re not gay!” She really means I am angry that YOU get to redefine yourself and I do not.

She forgets that she had her chance to redefine herself, out of the single mother paradigm and I realize she chose dykedom. My mother is angry with me because I have ‘more or less’ had the breeder working mother life that she did not, yet desired.

I wouldn’t change anything about my life. Now.

Back in the day I would have killed for Jesus to reach down and SAVE ME. That didn’t happen and so here I am.

11 October
0Comments

Booze Cruise, Now for XBox

Courtesy of The Register:

A new videogame has been developed which aims to simulate the experience of drunk driving. The game, named “Booze Cruise”, was coded as an academic project aimed at social betterment, rather than a sick commercial stunt to cash in on the worst aspects of human nature.

“The basic story is that this person is absolutely pissed and woke up in the trunk of their car and now is going to drive home,” according to Calgary digital media prof Jim Parker, quoted by Reuters.

“Booze Cruise” simulates the effects of drunkenness by the use of blurry and narrowed imagery, annoying lag times etc. Challenges include pedestrians, other cars and a police checkpoint.Apparently there are also “distractions on the side of the road, like pink elephants”, which Parker added “just for fun”.

Ha ha – what a card. Some kind of virtual puking experience might have been a tad more gritty, perhaps.

Well, just as an interjection, this is what happens when you drink too much vodka and take out your mother’s fucking car and wrap it around a light pole:

jetta.jpg

Yes, that’s my car, driven by a drunken 16 year old. I mean I got a Beamer out of the deal, but I sure did like that Jetta. My AC Compressor was left at the scene of the crime.

It seems that Canadian plods assisted in the design of the game, “trying to make it as realistic as possible”, according to Reuters. The Alberta coppers apparently reckon that “Booze Cruise” could help cut down on drink driving.

“It’s going to be a great tool,” Constable Rob Haffner told the wire-service scribes.

“Whatever education that we can get out there is always going to be beneficial as far as drinking and driving goes.”

Parker acknowledges that many teenagers are very familiar with driving videogames – games which might well be more fun to play than his, as the graphics aren’t crippled and the lags are minimised. But he still thinks that his software “will persuade them that alcohol will affect their skills”.

That may be true, but surely it would be even more persuasive for an overconfident youth to polish off a few tins of lager and then take on a sober opponent in the racing videogame of their choice. By comparison, Parker’s game wouldn’t seem to really prove anything about alcohol, just about the developers’ view of it. The pink elephants may not help much with the credibility issue, either.

Nonetheless, the media prof is undaunted.

“This is aimed not at adults, this is aimed at people who are 13 to 16,” he said. “We want to stop them from doing it in advance.”